When we were planning our own wedding a couple of years ago, I noticed something. There seemed to be a bit of a trend regarding wedding details. Things like favours and centrepieces and little extras. The trend wasn’t as i’d expected though, because what i’d actually noticed was lots of advice saying they weren’t important. I thought this unusual. Do details matter? Do you really need to worry about the details at your wedding? There was actually a LOT of negativity surrounding details. A lot of the comments and advice I was seeing was quite dismissive. People saying they didn’t care or didn’t notice. Others commenting that it was “show offy” to have particular things. Many photographers dismissing details altogether as insignificant and unimportant. It’s all about the love, man. All about you guys.
Do details and extra touches at your wedding make you a show off?
As someone who’s a huge fan of planning, organising and crafting, this was a little disheartening to me. I’d spent a long time thinking about the little things. Not to be show offy. Not for the sake of spending for spendings sake. Not for any reason other than the fact that I felt like the things we’d chosen were a little injection of “us” into the day. Whilst all being completely different, weddings are also very samey. For me, one way to make ours uniquely ours was to really focus on (apparently) insignificant details.
You see, for me, details were never chosen randomly. Things weren’t plucked from thin air just because they looked nice or were the right colour. We never chose anything because that’s just what you have or what you’re supposed to do. For us, the things we chose to include in our wedding, even down to the smallest detail were significant. We chose limoncello shots as favours for example because it held a happy memory for us. We’d been out celebrating Sam’s dads 50th birthday at a restaurant and the manager kindly gifted us a round of Limoncello shots. For many of us, it was our first time’s trying it- which prompted a few memorable reactions and in turn, happy memories.
Wedding details that are planned to perfection
The box we kept our wedding padlock in was gifted to me by my parents. They had seen it whilst out and about and it had reminded them of us. The white flowers on our tables were my nan’s favourite. Our first dance song was written by an artist who is one of Sam’s nan’s favourites. Every aspect of our wedding had the same attention to detail and the same careful consideration. Almost nothing was random. Everything was sentimental and special in it’s own way. Collectively, every detail that we chose, every little extra was representative of us in some way. Each thing was a small piece in the puzzle of us.
I know that the same is true of many couples. For many they also choose certain colours or flowers because it holds meaning for them. Some couples choose entertainment because it was something their mum would have loved. Others choose to honour relatives ones with their choices.
When you’re someone who puts a lot of time and attention into the little things, it can be disheartening to constantly be told “details don’t matter”. You were probably never really doing it for anyone else anyway, but none the less, it can feel like a bit of a kick in the teeth.
Wedding details don’t matter to everyone- and that’s ok
Not all couples care about the details. Some wont have the time, budget or simply the inclination to fuss about things that aren’t important to them. And do you know what? That is absolutely fine! Your wedding should be exactly how you want it. If you don’t want to or cannot afford to include extras, don’t. It wont impact on your enjoyment of the celebration at all. It’s one of those funny things where if you’ve never had it to miss in the first place, you wont even notice it’s not there.
If however, like me, you’re someone who relishes any opportunity to plan and organise or to flex your creative muscles- then by all means go for it. I always notice details. I always appreciate them.
Don’t be made to feel bad for it because a few pretentious types have stated that details don’t matter. If they matter to you, then of course they are important! Are they necessary? No. Are they the actual reason that you’re getting married? Hopefully not. Will you look back on the photos of those details in years to come and cry at them? Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean you wont cherish them.