When it comes to weddings, there’s are many long standing traditions which dictate what we should do. This covers everything from the colours we should wear, through to what food we should serve our guests. Tradition even dictates how you should walk down the aisle! But what are the “shouldn’ts”? What should you never do on your wedding day? Here are some of our picks.
Things you should never do on your wedding day
Plan to be late
In spite of what tradition says, being late for your wedding is a huge no no. Registry offices and registrars are incredible strict when it comes to keeping things to time. They usually have another wedding to get to right after yours so it’s really important that you do not plan to be late. One registry office we shot at before told us that they had 13 other weddings lined up for that afternoon. 13! It was like a little wedding factory with one in and one out. If you are marrying any time between March-October (inclusive) Friday- Sunday there is a good chance that yours will not be the only wedding the registrars will be attending that day. If you plan to be late, there’s a good chance you wont end up married at all. The registrars will simply leave. Really. We have shot weddings that were running slightly behind and as a result, everything was cut from the ceremony. Aside from the but the bare minimum legal declaration. Readings and all other personalisation, gone. That’s probably not how you want to remember your wedding day. So don’t plan to be late. It’s not a tradition anyone is onboard with anymore.
Go out drinking the night before the wedding
It always seems like a good idea at the time. You’ll no doubt hear on countless occasions that you “have to” because it’s your “last night of freedom.” Trust us, it’s not worth it. Your wedding day, as much as it’ll be amazing is going to be a long, intense day. Everyone is going to want your attention. You’re going to be asked important questions and asked to make important decisions. That all starts from the minute you open your eyes unfortunately. It’s all going to be a lot less fun if you’re battling a hangover.
We have arrived at prep before to grooms and groomsmen vomming every 5 minutes and ultimately having to turn us away so they can sleep off the hangover in preparation for the ceremony. Not ideal for you and definitely not ideal for us.
Along a similar theme…
Don’t lose track of how much alcohol you’re drinking
Especially when you’re getting ready. It seems like a great way to calm the nerves but it’s so easy to lose track. Doting bridesmaids keep you topped up. You put down half empty glasses and pick up full ones. It happens. But try not to start the day off tipsy. For one thing, your ceremony is going to zip by faster than you would have ever imagined and alcohol is just going to exacerbate that. You don’t want to forget the most important part of the day. Along the same lines, a registrar can’t (and wont) marry anyone under the influence of alcohol. By all means, have a glass with your girls or a bottle with your boys, but don’t over do it too early in the day.
This theme continues throughout the rest of the day too really. Only because it is so easy to end up really drunk really fast on a wedding day. People will be buying and handing you drinks all day. One after another. People don’t like to see your hand empty! Which is great in theory, but it does frequently lead to a pretty sozzled set of newlyweds before the speeches have even started.
Do not stress about the weather
The easiest one to say. The hardest one to do. I’ve been there myself. As much as I know that you cannot control the weather and as much as I know that the weather rarely has much of an impact on a wedding day, that didn’t stop me having my weather stress moments. We planned for our entire wedding to take place out doors. There was no plan B. So when it started chucking it down all morning on the day of our wedding, I did have a momentary panic. But do you know what? I have shot hundreds of weddings in all weathers. Bad weather has never ruined a wedding day yet. Has it changed proceedings a little, sometimes, but I’ve never been to a bad wedding yet, that was caused by bad weather. No matter what the weather, you need to take it in your stride and go with the flow. You will have a much better time if you accept the things you cannot change and focus on all the happiness that surrounds you.
Don’t worry about minor details or imperfections on the day itself
Another thats easy to say, but more difficult to do. Really though, you’ll have likely stressed yourself silly in the lead up to the day. By the time the day itself arrives, let go and enjoy it. If minor things aren’t correct maybe you’ll know, but no body else will. There’s nothing sadder than seeing a bride waste hours of her wedding day stressing over the fact that a wedding cake has a square tier on the bottom rather than the round on she’d asked for. Is it a big deal? Of course it is. If it’s not right and it’s not what you paid for you have every right to be upset. But is there anything you can do about it there and then that wont significantly impact your enjoyment of the day? No. Express your upset. Take a deep breath and put that worry aside. Let it be someone else’s problem on the day itself. That’s what we’re all here for.
Be glued to your mobile phone
There are several occasions where it’s advisable not to be glued to your mobile phone all day…and your wedding day is one of them. I know that sometimes it’s out of necessity, especially if you have guests coming from far away. But delegate. Make someone else be in charge of the phone whilst you’re getting ready. Weddings tend to cause guests to lose their common sense and you may well find that if you don’t put your phone away, you’ll end up with numerous messages that will cause you nothing but stress. Auntie Margaret texting to say that her and her posse of 6 can no longer make it…an hour before the wedding. A friend calling to ask if they can bring their child who wasn’t invited because the baby sitter bailed. A supplier who’s lost and cannot find the venue. Let it all be someone else’s problem. That’s what bridesmaids and groomsmen are there for.
Don’t try to shoulder the responsibility for everything
One of the things that wound me up the most both in the lead up to our wedding and on the day itself was the phrase “ask the bride”. I got SO sick of being responsible for every single minute and insignificant decision. As a bride, there’s a lot of pressure on you to be a decision maker because “it’s your day” and “it’s all about you”. If you’re like me though, you’ll hate that and want everyone to just make their own decisions. So be sure to delegate. Give people roles and don’t be afraid of tasking people you trust with jobs or with making decisions.
And on a related note….
Don’t have a bridal party and fail to utilise them
One of the biggest “mistakes” that couples consistently make is to have bridesmaids and groomsmen and then not use them. The whole point of having bridesmaids and groomsmen is to have your closest and most trusted allies there by your side to help you on the most important day of your life. Of course, we aren’t suggesting that you work them to the bone in the lead up to to day and have them carry out unreasonable tasks. But on the actual day itself, they should be helping if they’re needed. Yes, they should also be enjoying themselves as guests, but it is so frustrating to see a bride struggling and all 8 of her bridesmaids are too busy doing their own thing to notice. You don’t have to give people specific jobs, just ask that they’re there for you. That they’re mindful that you may need help at some point. Even the most relaxed days need a little helping hand at times.
So in summary
Don’t stress. Delegate. Don’t drink too much. Don’t be late. Enjoy yourself.
Weddings are to be enjoyed. Make sure you enjoy yours!